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Posts of Christmas Past - From My Hubby

Last night my husband and I were talking about Christmas gifts and it reminded me about the one time (2 year ago) that I let him guest post on my blog.  I thought it would be fun to share that with you again!


Dr. Leo Marvin: Are you married?

Bob Wiley: I'm divorced.

Dr. Leo Marvin: Would you like to talk about that?

Bob Wiley: There are two types of people in this world: Those who like Neil Diamond, and those who don't. My ex-wife loves him.

Dr. Leo Marvin: [pause] I see. So, what you're saying is that even though you are an almost-paralyzed, multiphobic personality who is in a constant state of panic, your wife did not leave you, you left her because she... liked Neil Diamond?

This classic interchange from one of my all-time favorite movies What About Bob explains a lot about the danger we men face going into the Christmas season.   You see during the holiday season we men turn into paralyzed phobics in constant states of panic.  Have you ever seen the look on every males face as we wander with fear through the malls on Christmas Eve?  The reason for this internal crisis can also be summed by the fact that there are two types of women in this world: those who give you Christmas lists and those who do not.  

My purpose in writing today is to try to convince you wonderful women out there to please help us out.  I know in your mind it would probably be more romantic if your husband could just surprise you with the perfect gift Christmas morning and I agree that it would be but the chances of that are 3720 to 1.  So what I am asking you to do is to make us a list in one of the following formats:

1) Pen and paper

2) email

3) An wish list (instructions)

4) for the Apple fanboy you can also download "A Better Christmas List" on iTunes for your iPhone / iTouch.  Target also has a free app on iTunes for this purpose as well.

The bottom line is this: we don't want to mess up this chance to extend a nice gift your way.  So help us out.   That being said if any of you have any idea of what my wife wants for Christmas please let me know.  The last thing I want is to be thrown to the doghouse like these poor souls in the video below.  

This post does not constitute advice on how to get the best gift for your wife for Christmas and is issued without regard to specific objectives or the financial situation of any particular recipient. Since moods and household conditions change frequently, there can be no assurance that the methods described here will continue or that the forecasts will come to pass. The views and opinions expressed are those of Lorie's husband (name withheld to protect the guilty), and are subject to change without notice at any time, may not come to pass and may differ from views expressed by other paralyzed phobics in constant states of panic. These materials are provided for informational purposes only and should not be used or construed as a recommendation of any kind.  In other words men, you are on your own.


Amie said...


Cari said...

So funny. I learned very quickly to give my hubs a list for any gift giving occasion. Bless 'im.

Unknown said...

Ha ha! I have a constent "Wish List" going. That way when he's looking for present ideas, either it's Christmas or a birtday or whatever, he has some ideas. Mine is a word document that is always changing. At first I felt controlling, pushy, and greedy for making a list...but my hubby really really wanted it. I soon learned that he LOVES his list. And on occasion he gets his own ideas and ALWAYS does a GREAT job!!!

Michelle said...

I pretty much have a huge crush on you! All I know is that if you buy her a ticket to come and visit me, she would be happy. THE END.

Unknown said...

haha :) I like that!

Katrina said...

that is soo frickin' cute!

Katie said...

LOVED this! (And laughed out loud at the disclaimer!). Jon needs to post more often!!