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Beware of the Doghouse

My husband loves to send me ideas that he thinks I should put on my blog. So I decided that I would let him (from time to time) have a guest appearance. I figured you would like him. He grew up with all sisters, so he has been trained well!

The video at the bottom of this post is one of those things that he sent me. It is a little long, but pretty cute. Even if you can't sit through the video, leave him a comment! He will appreciate it!

Without further ado, a post from the hubby!

(Oh, BTW, he is trying to come up with a name for his posts...I am voting for manly Monday, but I don't think he is going to go for that...and I am not actually going to let him post every Monday! So if you have any suggestions feel free to leave them in the comments!)


Dr. Leo Marvin: Are you married?

Bob Wiley: I'm divorced.

Dr. Leo Marvin: Would you like to talk about that?

Bob Wiley: There are two types of people in this world: Those who like Neil Diamond, and those who don't. My ex-wife loves him.

Dr. Leo Marvin: [pause] I see. So, what you're saying is that even though you are an almost-paralyzed, multiphobic personality who is in a constant state of panic, your wife did not leave you, you left her because she... liked Neil Diamond?

This classic interchange from one of my all-time favorite movies What About Bob explains a lot about the danger we men face going into the Christmas season. You see during the holiday season we men turn into paralyzed phobics in constant states of panic. Have you ever seen the look on every males face as we wander with fear through the malls on Christmas Eve? The reason for this internal crisis can also be summed by the fact that there are two types of women in this world: those who give you Christmas lists and those who do not.

My purpose in writing today is to try to convince you wonderful women out there to please help us out. I know in your mind it would probably be more romantic if your husband could just surprise you with the perfect gift Christmas morning and I agree that it would be but the chances of that are 3720 to 1. So what I am asking you to do is to make us a list in one of the following formats:

1) Pen and paper

2) email

3) An wish list (instructions)

4) for the Apple fanboy you can also download "A Better Christmas List" on iTunes for your iPhone / iTouch. Target also has a free app on iTunes for this purpose as well.

The bottom line is this: we don't want to mess up this chance to extend a nice gift your way. So help us out. That being said if any of you have any idea of what my wife wants for Christmas please let me know. The last thing I want is to be thrown to the doghouse like these poor souls in the video below.

This post does not constitute advice on how to get the best gift for your wife for Christmas and is issued without regard to specific objectives or the financial situation of any particular recipient. Since moods and household conditions change frequently, there can be no assurance that the methods described here will continue or that the forecasts will come to pass. The views and opinions expressed are those of Lorie's husband (name withheld to protect the guilty), and are subject to change without notice at any time, may not come to pass and may differ from views expressed by other paralyzed phobics in constant states of panic. These materials are provided for informational purposes only and should not be used or construed as a recommendation of any kind. In other words men, you are on your own.


Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness. This is hilarious. Men need to blog more.

Kristina P. said...

Ack, that was me!

Lorie said...

Kristina! You anonymous poster you! Don't encourage him or he will be trying to take over my blog! ;D

Andrea Hatfield said...

He's a hoot! Men really should do more blogging, maybe then we could understand them better. =)

Jo said...

I love your hubby. He is hilarious!He is wise, at least he realizes the POSSIBILITY of the doghouse. Rest assured, after being married for more than 28 years, I just tell him what I want, give him some choices and really, I would be happy with any of them. Then we are both happy come Christmas morning.

Unknown said...

I love the post and I really love the video. Hilarious. I didn't give my husband a clue or a list. Last year I got a back massager, all of my chairs are backless. Hmmm. Maybe I should do that list!

Momisodes said...

This is the BEST post I've read in weeks! Hubby is hilarious :)

A few Christmas' ago, my gift from hubby- A tire pressure gauge.


I even blogged about it.

Dude. Hubby is right. Make a list.

♥Lisa♥ @ FinalScore:Boys3Girls2 said...

lol, funny.
I love What about Bob too!

umm, dh got me an eliptical glider for my birthday several yrs ago and i didnt ask for it.... i dont use it.

Anonymous said...

This was very funny! I was actually emailed that video last week. Bryan and I don't have the gift problem. He knows most everything I like. He's never let me down. :o)

Jon said...

One thing that just dawned on me was that everything on this blog that my wife posts is kind of her Christmas list isn't it. Once again just proving to the rest of the world that I couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

Kristen said...

Thanks for blogging and your suggestion will not go unnoticed. I give my DH (dear hubby) ideas for presents when we are out shopping. I will say "Hey I really like this and it would make a great birthday/Christmas/Anniversary present"...I just say one of those depending on which one is coming up. Then I give him a list later with all my ideas. It seems to work for us.

Cajoh said...

My wife is always making lists— I don't. I fear the day that I cannot remember what she wants for Christmas because I never ask for her list… too proud I guess.

Live.Love.Eat said...

My sister sent me this video last week and I was laughing my butt off. Especially the beginning with the music when she says "get in there."

Amie said...

I've already watched that video twice since it was forwarded to me last week...I love it! I love What About Bob? too. =)

Anonymous said...

I would suggest another thing women can do to help out their poor hubby's who just don't know what to do.

When you need your husband to say "You look nice" or other such compliment that we women need. Just tell him.

I have used this with hubby and he really appreciates it and I don't have to send him to the dog house for not saying the stuff I need him to.

I just go up to him and say "Now your supposed to say (fill in the blank). It works rather well. You should try it some time.

Melisa S. said...

I saw that video last week and never laughed so hard! What's funny is that my Hubby and I were talking about gifts and how when all else fails gets jewelry. Then he told me that if I didn't want so much other stuff (, nintendo ds) he would always get me jewelry. Makes me wonder if I should not say anything all year and see if a diamond makes it way under the tree!

Jen said...

I saw this and loved it.

Lynn said...

Okay, I quit making lists because I like surprises. Not that they are always good surprises! The year my DH got me a cell-phone (way before everyone had one!) I was mad, and said "You got me what YOU wanted!" Poor guy! Well, that came to be such a valuable tool, and I have not been without one since.
And then there was the Kitchenaid mixer...grateful to have it but not a very personal gift...
I never know quite what to get him either!

Unknown said...

I actually got a vacuum this year! Though I must say, I usually get jewlery and I found myself excited to get it. It wasn't a great one though and I returned it two days later. I still haven't found a replacement yet. Argh! So funny!